I had been trying to be strong ever since this happened to our house. I am a very sensitive person who normally can cry or feel hurt very easily, but the tears just weren't coming. That is until a few nights ago, and when they fell, they FELL! I was so proud of myself that I was handling things so well, but after six weeks of limited use of our home and really a limited version of our normal life, there was no stopping it.
I know that we still have so much to be thankful for and I want to be strong and trust in God more than anything. I think I felt like a bad Christian to admit this was hard at first. It was also difficult because many people around us (very well-meaning), believed this was a great thing and our whole house would be transformed. That was hard after being so scared by the actual power surge and also not being a well person, it doesn't take much for my health to go down hill. So it was hard to have to act like this was great for other people sake. So I think that the tears were a good thing and a much needed thing. God and I have had many talks in the last few days, my heart has been very sad and exhausted, but I know that He hears and that He loves me. I love how the Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will intercede for us when we cannot even audibly express how we are feeling.
I know that we will be OK, that God has a purpose in all of this, and that Dan and I will have our sweet simple life back at some point. Hopefully we will be even closer to each other and closer to who God wants us to be. It makes you nervous though when God allows things like this to happen. We are a little scared of what he is trying to teach us and prepare us for in the future. Dan's fear is that all this had to happen right now because little people who look an awful lot like us are coming soon. :) We were kinda hoping to start with a puppy first, see how that goes. :)